Apartment Stories: Mother F*cking Cockroaches

I need to preface this story by saying that I have never seen a cockroach before. I’ve seen hissing cockroaches on tv, but that is my only frame of reference.¬†

It all started when I picked up the kettle one evening a couple of weeks ago, and saw some beetle-y type of bug zip off. It startled me, but it was like a black blur, so I thought nothing of it.

A couple of days ago by, and then one morning I’m home alone, and open up the cupboard to have a beetle-y type of bug try to kamikaze me. I yelp, the bug falls out of the cupboard and there’s a mad dash of the bug trying to escape and me trying to kill it. The bug escapes.

Another day goes by and this time there’s one near the sink when I pick up the sponge. More yelling occurs, and this time I manage to take a picture of it. I text Doug (who is at work) and ask him “WTF is this bug.” The picture is a crappy one, and he can’t be sure. I ask him if it’s a cockroach¬†because it’s the only word I have to define what these bugs are. He says it doesn’t look like one.

Now, all of these sightings so far have only been seen by me. I am currently the girl who cried bug, and Doug at this point thinks (I’m sure) that I’m blowing this out of proportion.

The next morning comes around, and I am running late for work, and need to take a shower. I pull the curtain back to see another one of these God forsaken bugs in the tub. This time though Doug is home – sleeping finally after a nightshift. So what do I do? I wake the poor man up and demand that he come look at this bug.

He comes into the bathroom and said the words that I dreaded hearing, “Yup, that’s a cockroach.”

I left the bathroom, went back to bed and just cried.

Overdramatic? Yes. Was I, in that moment, totally done with all of this? Yup.

Doug comes back to hug me, and promises to talk to the building manager about it that day. I get ready for work, Doug makes me lunch and I make it to work – on time even.

Later, when I come home, I get the scoop. Our building’s common areas are sprayed every month, and they also spray any apartments that have any problems. WE MISSED THE EXTERMINATORS BY ONE DAY. So, they’re coming early July.In the meantime, Doug sprayed the apartment, and we’ve recently set traps. Doug has taken out at least 3, and I’ve taken out 1 (it was really tiny. I do not do bugs people).

You know what the funny thing is though? Before we met Doug and I never had any problems with bugs in any apartment that we’ve lived in. We’ve been together almost a year and a half, and we’ve dealt with bedbugs and cockroaches. It’s like we had too good apartment karma and the scales needed to be balanced or something.

Never a dull moment here at the apartment. Stayed tune for next’s week (mis)adventure!