I had read We Should All Be Feminists a couple of years ago, and I completely loved it. I felt that Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie had explained feminism so well, and it’s definitely a book/talk that I recommend to a lot of people. So, I was very excited when I learned that she had a new book coming out called Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions.
A few years ago, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie received a letter from a dear friend from childhood, asking her how to raise her baby girl as a feminist. Dear Ijeawele is Adichie’s letter of response.
Here are fifteen invaluable suggestions–compelling, direct, wryly funny, and perceptive–for how to empower a daughter to become a strong, independent woman. From encouraging her to choose a helicopter, and not only a doll, as a toy if she so desires; having open conversations with her about clothes, makeup, and sexuality; debunking the myth that women are somehow biologically arranged to be in the kitchen making dinner, and that men can “allow” women to have full careers, Dear Ijeawele goes right to the heart of sexual politics in the twenty-first century. It will start a new and urgently needed conversation about what it really means to be a woman today.
This book is a very short read, but it packs a punch, so while it’s easy to breeze through it because it is so short, I advise you to stop and take your time because it’s easy to miss important points.
As I was reading this book/letter, some of the suggestions of the author I had already thought about – such as if your daughter wants a “boy” toy and not a “girl” toy, that’s okay, buy it for her. But some of the other suggestions and points I hadn’t thought about before. For example, the author uses the example of a play group and mentions how parents of daughters tell their girls to be careful, and don’t go too far, whereas for the sons they push them to go further, try new things, etc. It was interesting to me – in this example and others – how much of a way of being and thinking sexism is. So much so, that at times I didn’t even realize that that’s what I was experiencing or reading or thinking.
Not realizing how sexism society is, is also why feminism is so important. I mean, why do I have to change my name when I get married? Why can a male employee be assertive, but a female is a bitch? Why can’t I show that I’m feeling shitty when I have horrific cramps instead of pretending that my biology is, at the moment, not kicking my ass?
There is also the reverse of this coin too. Why when dad’s are parenting their children does society call it (or joke) that a dad is babysitting? He isn’t. He’s parenting. Why is parental leave for new dad’s a more common occurrence?
Sexism hurts both sexes, and your sexual organs should do hinder you from anything.
This book – and others like it – are vitally important because these issues are still happening, because society still feels the need to put women and men into specific boxes.
This is another book that I’m recommending to everyone because let’s face it – we should all be feminists.