It’s currently 9:59 pm. Music is softly playing from my Mac speakers, and the crickets from outside my bedroom window are playing accompaniment to The Piano Guys song Michael Meets Mozart. As you can probably tell I’ve just set up my new blog on WordPress, and well, here I am writing the first post.
I’ve been thinking about starting up a blog – one that is more than just a reblogging of fandom gifs (not that there is anything wrong with that – those gifs get me through my work day), and I finally decided to take the quiet that I found myself in this evening and do it.
You see, I’m in a bit of a funk. And when I say a bit, I mean the last two years. I finished school 4 years ago (read: undergrad and teachers college) got a job, an apartment near the downtown core, and good friends to hang out with, but after a couple of years I wasn’t satisfied. I kept thinking “Is this it? Is this all there is in life? Is this what the rest of my life looks like? I am not okay with this.” And because I wasn’t satisfied I went to my default thought process – “There must be something wrong with me because everyone else is satisfied with that, so I should be too.” Since I couldn’t make myself be satisfied I then did the other thing I do. I started having panic attacks about it.
I won’t go into details (at least in this post) about dealing with a year of panic attacks again, or how that effected well…everything, but I did realize something important.
I realized that all my dreams, hopes, desires etc. that I’ve ever had ended after I graduated university. I simply had never dreamt further than that.
I need new dreams.
Thusly, this blog is going to be about dreaming new dreams, having new experiences, being inspired, and everything else that falls in between. Hopefully, as this goes on, I’ll find what I’m looking for.